A practical guide for those who witness too much, too often, in a world overwhelmed by digital chaos.

Please use when you need it. Print out the guide attached or share it if you choose.

For well over a decade, I’ve sat in the classrooms, the Principals’ offices, the staff rooms where whispered disclosures land like bricks in your chest. I’ve walked out of school gates with teachers who haven’t eaten all day because they were holding the emotional fragments of other people’s children, trying to make it through without breaking. I have responded to thousands of emails asking for help, taken calls late at night, often someone sobbing on the other end of the line. I have had Principals who have walked me into their office, shut the door and burst into tears and said, “I’m a Dad, I did not sign up to see all of this” And I’ve listened, really listened to the quiet, exhausted voices of educators who never expected their roles would include managing online harm, image-based abuse, or cyber-trauma. But here they are.

I wrote this little guide for you at 4am on Sunday, May 18th, after on Friday I had one of those wide-ranging, soul-stirring, inspirational, conversations I’m lucky enough to have with my colleagues Maggie Dent and Brad Marshall. We’d been talking about the gut-wrenching moments in schools when a student makes a serious digital misstep and it feels like the whole world might unravel. It’s why we have created DEAP together: the Digital Ethics and Accountability Program. It's not about punishment. DEAP is about what to do next, how to support a student without shaming them, how to help parents stay in the loop without spiralling, how to give educators a clear, calm structure in the messiest of moments. If this sounds needed, reach out.

What I see every day is that educators have become digital first responders, not because they chose it but because the systems around them haven’t kept pace. While Maggie, Brad, and I are spending time building programs for student safety, we are also including the safety of those who hold it all together: teachers, principals, and wellbeing staff, who often go unacknowledged.

This little guide is for the humans at the heart of schools, who carry more than any risk framework can measure. Those who show up repeatedly, sometimes without the recognition, often without the support, and almost always with a full heart that needs a place to exhale.

I know what it means to be overwhelmed by the digital chaos, to absorb content that should never touch the human nervous system. I know because I have done this work, investigating, responding to, and trying to fix the systematic failures that leave good people alone in bad moments. I also know what it takes to rebuild. To protect your nervous system while still doing meaningful, trauma-informed work. To stay in the work without losing yourself to it.

This guide is my little offering to you. I see you. You the educators who are trying to hold steady in a world that rarely stops spinning. It’s written with deep respect, hard-won knowledge, and a fierce belief that your wellbeing is not an afterthought. It is the foundation. If we don’t protect the protectors, the whole system fractures. I hav the following printed out and stuck on the bookshelf of what my partner calls "the girl cave" its the place I research and write when I am at home here in Italy, with Monte my little Scottish Terrier puppy girl at my feet.

Holding Yourself Steady in the Long Haul

Teaching has always required emotional labour. But today’s classrooms are not just academic spaces. They are digital intersections, psychological triage units, and, at times, places where the harm of the world shows up with no warning. That kind of work accumulates quietly.

The strongest educators are often the ones who laugh in staff meetings, bring cupcakes on birthdays, and step in to handle "the tricky one" again and again. But over time, even the kindest wells can run dry. Remember that resilience isn’t a trait. It’s a constant practice.

When You Encounter Distressing Content

It might come through an email from a parent at 6am. Or whispered from the back of a Year 9 classroom. Or found on a student’s phone during a confiscation. Harm, especially online harm, doesn’t arrive neatly. It’s messy, blurry and raw and never quite lands in the "right" context.

Your instinct might be to keep reading. To understand every detail. To find the truth inside the trauma. But there is power in stopping. People always ask how I handle what I see and hear day in day out....I was taught this by a member of the AFP when we worked alongside each other on a particularly distressing case in the late 90's when I was with Verisign.

He said: Remember you only need enough information to act. Not to absorb.

If your stomach turns or your breath shortens, step away. A walk through the school garden, a splash of cold water on the wrists, a colleague’s quiet presence, these are not luxuries. They are lifelines. Trauma is not just seen. It is felt, and often stored, in the body.

And no, you don’t need to be the expert. That’s why escalation exists, because passing it on is not shirking responsibility. It’s an act of trust in the broader safety net you’re part of. You are not the only adult who cares. You are one link in the chain.

It can help to say aloud or silently This child will be supported. This isn’t mine to hold alone. That small phrase is a powerful antidote to the fixer mentality that can burn through even the most seasoned professionals.

Start by noticing your own rhythm.  Where does the week rise? When do you crash? Can you build in softness after a hard meeting or create buffers between the rough and the routine?

And remember saying "I can’t handle that today" is not letting the team down. It is modelling healthy boundaries in a system that rarely encourages them. Leadership includes knowing your limits.

Connection is another anchor.  Not just the programmed professional learning kind, but the real, messy, honest chats with those who know. The admin who gives you a smile after a difficult playground duty. The colleague who notices you didn’t eat lunch. These moments don’t fix everything, but they remind you you’re seen.

The good still matters. That quiet Year 11 who finally turned in an essay on time. The parent who sent a thank-you email. The art project that surprised you with its depth. Make space for them. Let them in. They are reminders that not all moments demand your worry.

--------------------------------------------

The Self-Care Checklist I Use (file for printing attached)

(Not a to-do list, I call it the poem I live my way through when things get wobbly.) This isn’t a list to complete. It’s a place to begin again.

I’ve been using the list below for so long now that I honestly can’t remember where I first found it. I did not write it, so full credit to whoever wrote the first iteration. Thank you for centering and grounding me more times than I can count. The other tool for me is music. Music has been such a huge part of my life as a Music Photographer (my other life) I have peppered this list with some links songs and performances that inspire me to give you a 5 min escape.

Where am I full? Where am I running low?

How does my body feel - Flower Duet & Nessun Dorma My favourite pieces ever, I am a massive Opera Fan and these two piece give me goosebumps everytime I hear them and land me right back in my body. The louder the better.

Have I eaten properly today? Have I moved enough, even just a stretch? A walk in the sunshine? Did I rest when my body asked?

Where is my mind? - Piano cover of The Pixies track by Maxence Cyrin Have I spoken to someone who listens well? Have I created or consumed something nourishing? Have I said no, kindly, to an extra load?

Heart - Hearts cover of Stairway to Heaven is incredible. Did I laugh today? Have I cried, vented, or sung in the car? Have I let myself feel softness?

Soul - Amazing Grace by The Blind Boys of Alabama my dear friends who I have photographed more times than I can count. The stories I have heard from them over meals are the history of music. Write down to Jimmy telling me how a kid called Elvis Presely used to sneak into their show tent to watch them perform. When did I last feel the sun/sea/breeze on my skin? Have I remembered why I chose this work? Have I made space for quiet, meditation, or pause?

Work - And THAT performance by Shane Hawkins with the Foo Fighters just after his Dad passed (Taylor who was the drummer) as a reminder that kids are awesome. You can see Dave Grohl checking he is ok all the way through the clip, the unspoken "I got you". Did I take a lunch break away from my desk that was truly mine? Do I know who I can speak to if I’m not coping? Have I advocated not just for the people and kids I support through my work, but for myself?

The Power of a Pause

Sometimes it’s the tiniest gestures that anchor us back.

Two Feet, One Breath Feel the soles of your feet against the floor (or preferably in the grass).Take a slow breath, just one.Let that breath be enough.

Three Audible Sighs Let yourself sigh out loud.Three times. Let it be dramatic if it helps.Notice the shift.

Find One Beautiful Thing A bird on the fence. A kind text. A good news story. Let it land.

Please remember this……. You are showing up when it’s hard, again and again.And that matters.There is no badge for burnout. No award for stoicism. There is only this: you, still here. Still caring. Still enough. And that, quietly and fiercely, is everything.

Self-Care-Checklist.pdf

Download PDF • 32KB