Sendit is an "anonymous app to use with true friends, for mature teens," working exclusively with Snapchat to enhance users' experience on the widespread social media phenomena. Wildly recommended for users aged 17yrs and above (however Safe on Social has reports of widespread use between 12-14yrs), Sendit features numerous augmented games prompting users to answer personal questions anonymously while acting as a 'feedback app.' The 'anonymous' factor, breeds bullying and harmful behaviours and is a frequent threat to those who use the app. Although Sendit has tried to set up push-backs against these threats of harassment, such as offering a block feature, several games within Sendit still bring forth hateful comments and have been the cause of a lot of distress. There is a way for users to opt for friends only, but we all know that no matter who your real-life friends are, there are always ways to meet people online, which can be either an asset or a hindrance. This can be seen, for example, by friends choosing to pick the game 'Truth or Dare' and launch it onto Snapchat, select who they wish to play with and then, through photo-based queries, send their repose to their friends Sendit's inbox and wait for a response. In layman's terms, the app works like this: 1. Choose a game to play 2. Invite friends to answer on Snapchat by taking a photo with their response 3. Read responses anonymously on Sendit It seems simple, but why is it hurting so many young people? Dangers For Tweens/Teens Just a short stroll down the app's review page and I found quite a lot of cases where responses like these were more common than foreign: "My daughter is being bullied in school and has had threatening messages on Sendit, option to pay to see who sent it £8.49 weekly what a complete rip off it only gives you a hint. I gave my permission for her to have it, and we have had some fun with it, but it gives bullies a free rein as it gives them anonymity" - Parent of child aged eleven years. When there's an anonymous feature, I suggest you run (or understand what you are getting yourself into). This concept of paying to see who sent the response is not a strange money tactic and is common in many apps such as Instagram viewer apps, where you pay money to see who unfollowed you, blocked you, stalked you, etc. In a society that is so obsessed with being in control and so deeply self-conscious (thanks to having the whole world at the touch of your fingers and possessing the ability to see how everyone else acts, looks like, and thinks), it is no surprise that we are always wanting to have the upper hand. Think about it this way, if you were playing a game where you asked the truth about what people thought about you and received a disturbing response that included hateful language, wouldn't you want to know who is responsible? This is precisely why we must respect ourselves and our conscious by looking at the big picture of the app before downloading or allowing children to download. Parental Control and Reporting Features Talk to your child about how the anonymous interactions on Sendit are used and the lack of accountability caused by not having a person's name visible on their account. Have a game plan for what your child should do if they notice ill behaviour. The best method is always confiding in you before acting against the user. Discuss the difference between online and offline friends, specifically, what is different between meeting a person online rather than unperson. Catfishing is a serious concern, and this is something I believe should be well known. Before even allowing them to download the app, set up a family sharing/ family link which requires children to get your permission before downloading an app. Hence, you are knowledgeable about the apps your children are interacting with. Screen time can also be a helpful tip to reduce time on apps such as these; although screen time does not allow you to monitor what your child is doing on the app, it does allow you to constrict how long they are on their devices. Lastly, talk about why they want to use this app in the first place. You could even make it into a fun game where you could set up a family debate and have your children on the for and the against - being technologically active does not always mean we have to let go of games that don't fit on a screen. My Safety Rating I think it best that no one under the age of seventeen should be using this app and, if so, should be careful in the content they are interacting with; even so, my rating cannot go higher than 2/5 stars as this is not an app I would suggest toggling with unless well aware of the safety repercussions. I am 17yrs and I live in Wollongong and am currently in my final year of high school (yay!). As a product of the twenty-first century, I would be lying if I said social media didn't play an important role in my day-to-day life, and, because of this, I want to ensure it continues to progress as a safe environment for all users. ​ I am very excited to be part of the Youth Advisory Committee and to be connecting with like-minded individuals.

Lenny - 18yrs Last week the AFP released a statement about the sharp rise in cases of online sexual exploitation of children. The victims, predominantly boys, are unwittingly lured into conversations with 'girls' they meet through games or other social media platforms. They engage in a few sexual discussions, and the boy thinks they've found a girl to do some sexting with. Soon they're asked to exchange nudes, and the rest is history. The 'girl,' more than likely a man in some random part of the world, will send nudes often gathered from the extortion of previous victims. Suppose the boy reciprocates, sending images and even videos. In that case, the tide will quickly turn, and these young boys will be blackmailed for sometimes unpayable sums of money, threatened with the release of their explicit images to family and friends with the worry that the content forever pollutes the internet. First, the AFP is raising this issue because its incidence quadrupled between mid-2021 and this year. That means it has been highlighted as a successful scam, so all the scammers have flocked to it. A lot of the footage that the original 7 News report used was stock footage of children seemingly aged 5-10 happily scrolling away on their iPods, but in reality, it's adolescent boys aged from 12-14 that seems to be the most affected category, and that makes sense. That's a stressful situation, and I can imagine exactly the feeling a young boy might feel struck with at that moment. Fear, shame, lust, and confusion all wrapped into a slowly sinking weight in the bottom of his stomach. It's an intractable scenario where you can either allow a stranger to have complete control over photos you hoped nobody else would ever see, or you can find the solution that comes with the cost of revealing what you get up to online in your room and admitting that you were essentially catfished in a very serious way. The solution isn't always that obvious to the young boy either, who in some cases may be told by the perpetrator that they'll be in trouble with the police if they speak up to law enforcement. This is a dilemma nobody wants, but maybe it's also one that children and parents alike are unprepared for. Scammers don't care who they target; kids are the ideal target, especially young teen boys who can be particularly impulsive. It's genetic, so the fault does not lie with them, even if it seems like an obvious thing to be fooled by. Essentially, the lessons learned by a generation of internet users now need to be re-learned by those who are just being exposed to it for the first time. The problem is that we still haven't communicated to these young people how the internet works and its true nature. Perhaps they're under the impression that it's just a digital manifestation of the real world, that everybody is who they say they are and that they are protected because adults often speak of online protections for young people. The truth is that as long as kids are left to their own devices, they will be infinitely better at evading their parents' protections than their parents are at setting them. There are endless avenues to get yourself in trouble online, and kids are spending incredible amounts of time on the internet as it is. Of course, they're going to get into some admittedly crazy and unfortunate situations because they're kids, they lack prudence and foresight, and their parents lack the knowledge even to protect their kids because most parents don't know what to do look for. Turning on parental controls helps, but it is by no means a panacea. The best prophylactic is going to be an honest and unabashed conversation about what kids do with their phones. Finding that sort of honesty from kids with phones feels like an impossible task, though; if you've ever tried to get a kid to reveal what they do online, I can imagine it's even more difficult as a parent. Kids often seem to feel as though the interests of their parents are at inherent odds with their interests regarding online privacy and security. In reality, everybody's goals should be the same; safety, clarity, enjoyment, and peace of mind. Most parents' first avenue of recourse is strictly monitoring devices and exerting extreme influence over their kid's phone usage. Parents, I'm sorry, but you cannot have unrestricted hegemony and insight into your kids' devices. As soon as you decide to get them a phone, tablet, laptop, or whatever it is, the information on it is theirs, and there should be no expectation of them to open their phone for you at any time. That model does no good for anybody, breeding only resentment within your kid and perhaps a neurotic paranoia within yourself that will only serve to stress you out more. The thing that will help your kid the most is if you encourage them to stay fully educated and safe while also laying some truths about the nature of the devices they're using. The conversations my mum had with me helped frame how I thought about what I saw online. My phone was never confiscated, nor was it even threatened because you don't allow people to avoid danger and protect themselves by threatening their sovereignty. That's called totalitarianism, and it doesn't work. Mainly, my mum told me that there was a lot of weird stuff and strange people online, some pretending to be who they're not, and some who do mean you harm. There's also the old maxim, 'If it seems too good to be true…' The young teenage boy's dream is easy sex, so they should be forgiven for falling prey to catfishing. Still, they should also be armed with knowledge. The knowledge that sending nudes is not the best online practice. That girls their age are usually aware of that and that receiving unsolicited nudes from a real girl is highly unlikely, despite how excited it makes them. My mum's advice cemented the idea of the internet as a tool and a place very separate from the world of real interaction. People are not themselves (for the most part); you are not anonymous despite how anonymous you feel, and what you do and say here can easily have real-world consequences. There's no need to fearmonger, but no kid ever hears this enough. Please do not try and educate using fear - they won't listen to you. How would I have avoided this scam at a young age? I couldn't have if I didn't get guidance from my parents, who were rational and structured with their approach to educating me. It might be 10-15% of the kid's attitude that influences their susceptibility to a grift like this, but in reality, all the essential factors rely on how parents educate their kids. The internet is an extension of life now. The prevailing way that kids, who are granted access to devices younger and younger, now live their adolescent lives. 'Raised by the internet' is now a real phenomenon, but just because kids live on the internet does not mean they know everything about it. We can keep advising about each particular scam as the AFP has with this one. If someone contacting you tries to transition the conversation from one site to another, if they claim that their microphone and camera don't work, they can't facetime you, etc. We can provide this specific advice, which is helpful now, but it doesn't help prevent new scams in the future. We need to teach fundamental and universal internet literacy and guiding principles to help young people navigate the internet intelligently. Adults are afraid of conversations like this, worried that it will expose their kids too early, but the earlier you can have that conversation, the better. At worst, it may be embarrassing for you or your child, but at best, it saves you and your child from potential trauma and distress when they aren't falling prey to scams that violate them in such a fundamental way. If you are in Australia and your child is under 18 and has become a victim of sextortion, you can report directly to the Australian Centre for Countering Child Exploitation www.accce.gov.au If you are outside of Australia contact your local police immediately. About Lenny I'm eighteen, and from Byron Bay. I joined the Safe On Social Youth Advisory because I am deeply committed to learning about topics that interest me and spreading that knowledge to as many people as possible. By telling stories that often go untold, especially from the perspective of a young man, I hope to bring a diversity of voice that is incredibly important, especially in the online space. These new technologies affect us all, and whether you like it or not, young people are at the forefront of these changes and the challenges they present. Who better to learn from than the people who use the technology the most?"

Last year, after having a massive fight with a group of friends, I decided to take a break from social media to focus on my mental health. I deleted my Snapchat and Instagram and got rid of all the people I didn’t talk to in my contacts. After deleting the apps off my phone and laptop, I felt a ‘withdrawal.’ I can’t even count the number of times I caught myself going to where my Instagram used to be, about to mindlessly open and scroll. For many people, social media is an addiction: a constant need to check likes, see what everyone else is up to, and catch up on the latest trends. At first, I felt disconnected and out of the loop. People would say, “Have you heard about ______’s and ______’s breakup?” or “Did you know ______ got a butt lift?” I had so many people ask me why I haven’t replied to their messages or if I saw their stories, and when I tried to explain my ‘break’ to them, they didn’t get it. The importance of taking occasional social media breaks is severely underestimated. We’re often so caught up in our lives and the lives of the people we’re following that we forget to take a step back. Breathe. We hear people talking about ‘Social Media Detoxing’ and ‘Taking a Social Media Break,’ but it’s always viewed as something that Mummy Bloggers and Millennials do. So, what is a detox, and how do you do it? According to Freedom [2021], a social media break (or detox, as it’s more commonly called) is when you use zero social media for a certain amount of time. This can range from 24 hours to 6 months. It’s really up to you! Here are a few ideas to get you started on your detox journey: Delete the apps If straight-up deleting your social media is a little bit too scary, I find a significant first step is setting time limits for yourself. For example, 1 hour on Instagram, 30 minutes on Snapchat and TikTok, or even putting an overall screen time goal. Mine is currently 2 hours a day, and it’s a great place to start. Having this goal motivates you and, when achieved, gives you that little serotonin boost that scrolling used to. It’s also important to have times for not using your phone. For example, sleeping with your phone in another room and getting out of bed to get it, or not being on it for an hour before bedtime to allow your brain some downtime. Another great way to go is limiting the people you follow. Unfollowing the people whose content doesn’t benefit you or teach you something can clear your headspace and your feed. Find new things to do After getting rid of my social media, I found I had so much time on my hands. I started taking Swedish lessons and crochet and found time to read all the books I wanted. You don’t have to start knitting or learning Chinese, but if you take even 30 minutes a day to do something you love or schedule a catch-up with a friend, it can make a difference in your mental health. Find new ways to stay informed Many of us get most of our news from social media, and now you don’t have it (or are using it less), you can feel out of the loop. Finding new ways to stay informed is essential for our human need for connectivity. Talking about current affairs and what’s happening in other people’s lives with your family and friends can be a good start. This is a way to get your fix of good news without all the bad stuff. Have an accountability buddy Have someone who can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t break your promise to yourself. If you feel like you’re going to be extremely tempted, have them change the password and look after your account until you’re ready to get back on. Make sure you also let everyone know you won’t be on social media and ensure the people you still want to interact with have your phone number or email. Enjoy the benefits After getting rid of the apps, you’ll have so much free time. Your head will feel clearer, and you’ll even sleep better. I still don’t have any social media. It’s been a little over six months, and I don’t have the urge to get it back, and I don’t feel like it’s something I need at this point in my life. I honestly feel happier and more mentally strong, and I think that’s so powerful. Written by Madison 15yrs I’m super excited to be working with the Safe on Social Youth Advisory Committee because I love researching, learning and using my knowledge to guide other people. I’m passionate about online safety, and I enjoy working with other people. When I’m not studying, reading, or designing my future house, I’m at the beach, hanging out with friends, or doing makeup. I love drama and hope that I can be on TV or in movies one day.

The Fainting challenge, known as the 'blackout challenge' and the 'thumb blowing pass out challenge,' has been circulating on TikTok. Unlike other challenges like the Ice-bucket or the Manikin challenge, this can have severe short-term and long-term consequences. I think many teenagers participate in this trend because they are curious about what it would feel like to have this brief moment of excitement to feed their curiosity. Being curious is a natural human trait, and it isn't a bad thing. But when it gets to the stage when it becomes a threat to your life and the people around you, it needs to end before it ever gets to this point. Friends and siblings also impact decisions. If students feel they are missing out in their group, they will most probably decide to join in because they don't want to be the only one missing out. Students need to know that if they are uncomfortable with something, they don't need to participate. I think that, like many trends, it will continue to spread if it is cool and "fun" for others over TikTok. Allowing more and more people to see it and want to participate. To say that this trend is dangerous is an understatement… This new so-called "challenge" is when people hold their breath until they pass out. Students are doing this purposefully to get a brief high before passing out; so far, this challenge has only led to hyperventilation, seizures, and in some cases, hospital stents used to help revive the flow of bodily fluids. This trend can lead to brain damage and even death. Doctors have said this trend is similar to choking, drowning, and cardiac arrest. Leaving the brain with a lack of oxygen. Stopping oxygen flow to the brain for over three minutes can lead to brain damage and, for over five minutes… death. As I have said above, this challenge can lead to many terrible things. So why do students keep doing it? Most of the time, over TikTok, it is to be cool and keep up to date with the latest trends. To feel validation from friends and peers over social media. Many students don't properly understand how dangerous this trend is; it can end badly. One of the most significant problems with this trend is that it can be done in students' bedrooms, out of sight (parents please ban phones from the bedroom and bathroom). This makes parents utterly oblivious to what is happening, limiting their ability to stop it. I think parents should try to keep up to date with things happening around Social Media so that they can talk to their kids about it and make sure they know they can come to you if they feel uncomfortable with something that they have seen on social media. Because children are accessing Social Media from such young ages, there needs to be more awareness spread throughout Primary schools. Young people won't understand specific trends and will naturally want to try them. But by setting an example and helping them know that there are things on social media that can be harmful, they need to know that it is okay to tell someone about it if they see it. Parents are very busy, and it is hard to keep up with everything that children are being exposed to, but just being with them while they are online or checking in with them can always minimise the risks. After a trend is started, it spreads like wildfire and continues to circle back. As you can see with this one, it has spread all over the TikTok, from kids in America to the UK, and now it is circling Australia again. Once it starts, it won't stop until the trend ends. I think that spreading awareness in the school environment is very important. Students need to know the dangers of this new trend and the trends that may follow, and they need to understand the risks that come with it. Trying to control something like this is near impossible; you can try taking phones away or banning TikTok, but students will always find a way. Schools can best talk to their students and remind them that it isn't a game and that people have been seriously injured in the past and present. Just hearing about the terrible things that have happened to kids from attempting this trend has made me realise how strong of a hold social media can have on young people and how strong the pull to complete these trends can be. Whether you are a parent, student, or teacher, in the world of Social Media, you can only prepare, support, and bring awareness to young people so they will have the skills to be safe online. Written by Drue I’m 16, and I joined the Youth Committee as I believe it will be such a significant learning experience that will go towards the security of the online world. I believe social media is such a large part of today’s world, positively and negatively impacting individuals and society. ​Hopefully, through the Youth Committee, I can help create a safer online space for everyone.

Ever wondered what your teen really wants you to know about social media and wants you to teach them? Well, here it is. A brilliant and insightful piece by one of our Youth Advisory members. - Gigi, 17yrs. Schools, parents, and organisations predominantly focus on the preventative measures of educating teens on the dangers of social media. These systems use scare tactics to focus on why you shouldn't sext, have your account set to public, or engage in online bullying and view pornography. And yes, while we must educate the youth on the safety and dangers of these ever-changing media platforms, it does not extensively address the undeniable contemporary issues teenagers face on social media. While we have taught the youth how to not engage in unsafe practices on social media, we have failed to actively teach them how to respond to these situations if they do. A young girl has sent nudes to a boy on Snapchat, screenshot it, and has blackmailed her, "if you don't send more, I will share these around" she feels she has no other option. A boy is being bullied on social media and is embarrassed to tell his parents or the school for fear of ridicule by his parents and peers. An older unknown man has commented with inappropriate messages on a girl's Instagram post but does not want to tell her parents in fear of embarrassment and deleting her account. Social media is not an issue because we are not educated judiciously enough on its dangers; instead, we have failed to teach our youth how to actively and appropriately respond to these dangerous situations. This is where the real danger lies. With parents, the problem with being driven by fear is that it often elicits an ineffective and unsupportive response. Technology and social media being a primary product of 21st-century teenagers make it somewhat more foreign to parents to understand the relationship between teenagers and their engagement on social media. Due to this unfamiliarity, some parents cannot provide appropriate guidance and judgment on their current issues. Hence, when teenagers are faced with these harmful situations on social media, they are in a position of fear of judgment and embarrassment from their parents. Lack of understanding and awareness of what happens on social media for young people means parents often take on a disparaging and critical response, leaving their children in even more distress than before. It is this very cyclical nature that is dangerous. This hindered relationship and lack of understanding by parents is destructive. The danger lies within parents' judgemental and conservative underlinings that fail to actively and appropriately engage with their child's needs. This is not a criticism on how to parent your child but rather illuminating the lack of critical awareness in effectively engaging and responding to teenagers' involvement on social media that is relevant to their contemporary zeitgeist. In Year 9 at school for PDHPE, I had to write reports on why illicit drugs are harmful to my health and the dangers of intoxication that may lead me to get sexually assaulted. While I knew drugs were dangerous for me, I was never taught how to aid a heavily intoxicated friend. Lessons like these ingrained into my consciousness that if I had too much to drink and a guy assaulted me, it was my fault. These outdated conservative and self-incriminating teachings fail to identify and support the reality of teenagers in leading them to believe their dangerous situations are their fault, establishing an ingrained belief of self-blame. This is where the danger lies. Inflicting fear onto the youth about the dangers and consequences of practices on social media only incites fear of seeking help. Not seeking help and actively responding to their situation negatively impacts their mental health as they are stuck in a mindset of self-blame in fear of judgment from peers and parents. So, where does this leave us? How can we actively respond to these issues? It is thus necessary for organisations and schools to implement more relevant proactive approaches to their education system. A young adult must present these so the students can more actively engage through a more relatable process. Using authentic and unfiltered situations that relate and apply to issues of our contemporary zeitgeist. It is also necessary that education on social media extends beyond our youth and onto parents. Educating parents and carers on how to proactively respond to the dangers that their kids may engage in on social media will assist in rectifying the real risks of social media. Their kids will feel more comfortable with opening up to their parents about their struggles on social media, allowing them to actively resolve their problems and reduce its effect on their mental health. The danger does not lie within the extent of our preventative educational approaches but rather the reluctance to adopt a proactive response in teaching our youth how to respond to their situations. The danger does not lie within the number of access parents give their kids on social media but their judgemental overtones that inflict fear onto their kids that prevent them from discussing these issues with their parents. The real danger relies on our reluctance to adopt a more proactive and relevant approach to the teachings and environment our youth are brought up through. To achieve a cohesive awareness of how to respond to the possible dangers of social media, collectively, we all need to be on the same page and working as a supportive team instead of functioning from different generational corners of the same arena. I am currently in Year 12, completing my HSC at school in Sydney. I hope to attend University where I aspire to study for a double degree in Property Economics and Business Law. ​I wanted to participate in the committee to contribute a contemporary perspective on the safety of social media engagement and effective for young people.

Many are probably thinking of the harmless, classic game of Guess Who? That we all played as kids… This is not the case. This new Guess Who, which is circling the world of TikTok, is used to bully and harass. By choosing certain words and pictures to hint at who a person is (usually in their school, by their peers!), others then guess who the person is. This TikTok Trend quickly spread around early April of this year, and it is only growing and spreading to wider audiences. It has become a significant concern over this short time, especially in school environments where school logos are being used as channel logos. Someone develops an account and begins "choosing" people to post Guess Who videos about. These pages are built to pick out students and encourage bullying. Nasty words and images are being used to cyberbully and make fun of the victim. Not surprisingly, one type of online bullying is impersonating accounts and sending hurtful messages through fake accounts. This trend could also potentially unintentionally give out personal information about students. This could end badly for individuals, families, and schools for multiple apparent reasons. One law around using a school logo is that the owner needs a formal authorisation before it can be used and displayed on any platform. This usually means the school principal needs to consent to its use. This would never happen in this context! This is only one of the countless issues with this trend. Before this specific trend began, there was a similar trend, except it was called 'Starter pack.' People posted pictures of specific fashion accessories, brands, celebrities, or subcultures based on looks around particular "types" of people. This new trend is even more distressing as it's not only categorising people into specific and hurtful groups but also generating fear of being one of those people that are singled out. Students are afraid that they will be the next "victim" of this horrible trend—a trend that is becoming more and more of a threat to individuals and their safety online. This is also a problem because it creates a chain reaction from a simple unnecessary TikTok post to an individual's safety and all of the possible actions which have to be taken to remove the post. All of this wouldn't have occurred if this unnecessary video of nastiness wasn't posted in the first place. Seeing some of the "traits" of certain "types" of people makes you think of what group you would fit into and whether this is the kind of person people see you as. It puts a lot of young people into a state of anxiety. Whether this is what you want to be seen as and whether you even fit into a category. This could lead to so many other social issues. The fact that a harmless trend in clothing, hair, and style trends has so quickly become a way for young people to hurt each other, their families, and their schools is something that in this generation is possible thanks to inappropriate use of social media. It also shows how social media can be both a blessing and a burden. How easily people can manipulate trends and turn them into negative ones. The people who watch these trends and participate in the so-called "game" are just as bad as those who initially post them. If kids believe they are being targeted, they should let a trusted adult know what is happening; then, with help, they can report the video or account on TikTok by holding down on the video, selecting Report following the instructions provided. Take a screenshot that they have reported this. As a student, seeing posts from young people around the same age as myself posting this kind of hurtful message about others is unbelievable, yet it is still happening. When thinking about this trend, the first thing that crosses my mind is; how is this setting an example for our younger generation? Our younger siblings, friends, and any person in our lives. If it isn't setting a good example, then why is it happening in the first place? And what can we do to stop it……..the answer is always to speak up and report it to a trusted adult. A note from Safe on Social: Bullying is a learned behaviour. Some of the most common reasons why people bully others include: A coping mechanism and response to something stressful going on in their lives. They are insecure and are trying to detract away from themselves by focusing on somebody else. They are jealous and instead of understanding this, they have become abusive. They may be concerned they won’t be accepted by their friends if they don’t do it. When we are speaking in schools. Most kids feel that speaking to their parents is not an option. This is normal tween/teen behaviour so don’t think you have done anything wrong. Don’t assume that your kids tell you everything…they don’t. They are often concerned that you will do something to embarrass them or make it worse. Or you will ban them from their devices (don’t do that if they have spoken up about something). Teach your kids the reason people experience bullying is not because of their sexuality, gender identity, race, appearance, disability, or any other unique factor; it is because of the attitude towards the factor. The only thing possible to change is attitudes. The person who is bullying them is the one with the issue, not them. Remind kids they can speak to someone they trust at their school. Young people do not realise that one of the best things about school is that they have free access to a load of amazing services and resources (yes that includes advice from us) Counsellors, pastoral care who are trained to help with situations like this. The school probably has the most power in a bullying situation to help make it stop. Remind your kids they can speak to a favorite teacher, or the school wellbeing team. Remind them to take screenshots for evidence and not to bite back. Instead report it properly. If it is online: Report it to the app it is happening on. Screenshot that this has been done. If the post is not removed in 24hrs report it to www.esafety.gov.au If the post contains threats of harm or is distributing image-based abuse report it straight to the Police or Crimestoppers. The most important thing you can do when being bullied to protect yourself is to talk about it. Everybody has a different threshold of what they consider to be serious bullying. Sometimes, the person who is bullying you may genuinely have no idea that it is affecting you. So if you feel up to it, telling the person who is bullying you can be really effective. REMEMBER TO SPEAK UP! Bullying is something that affects so many people’s lives, but many young people will never report it through embarrassment, fear, or a lack of faith in support services. Isolating themselves from support isn’t going to resolve the issue or help them handle the bullying. Often young people who are bullied will see themselves as victims, but it’s important that they learn to look beyond that and not let the bullying dictate how they see themselves. Again remind them to always speak up. If parents or trusted adults know what is going on we can help them. Some forms of bullying may also be a criminal offence. If somebody physically attacks you, uses prejudiced language or hate speech towards you (such as homophobia and racism) or shares private information or intimate images online (image-based abuse) these are all cases that should be reported to the Police. It is incredibly important that you teach your kids to go through the appropriate reporting channels. Talk to a trusted friend, speak up to a trusted adult, or call kids helpline on 1800 55 1800 I’m 16, and I joined the Youth Committee as I believe it will be such a significant learning experience that will go towards the security of the online world. I believe social media is such a large part of today’s world, positively and negatively impacting individuals and society. Hopefully, through the Youth Committee, I can help create a safer online space for everyone.

Fifty-eight times is how many times you check your phone a day for a notification. In my last year of high school, the pressure is on. The pressure to get that 99.95 atar, the pressure of impressing my family, friends, and everyone who calls you on the 14th of December, asking how you went! I find myself procrastinating due to this pressure and the never-ending stream of homework, alignments, and work. I find my phone calling me towards it, open it, and go on Twitter to see how the Amber Heard Vs. Johnny Depp is going. It astonished me how in the midst of all of this stress and anxiety, I still fall into the temptation to browse social media, saying, 'Just five more mins and I'll get back to work.' In this article, I will research and explore why teenagers, or anyone, get distracted by social media and its impacts. I think the time I realised that social media had a treacherous impact on my academics was when I started year 11. Year 11 is the first year that teachers and parents begin enforcing the notion of how school will end in a year, and it is pivotal to make the most out of your academic life. Being filled with the stress and anxiety to perform well, I resorted to social media to provide me with that solace and vent my feelings. But soon, this became a significant issue. I kept wanting to check my phone all the time - not allowing me to complete even one task successfully without being distracted. I realized that this soon had to change as this mindset wouldn't be getting me that atar that I am striving for. The first thing I did was ask my parents for help. I gave my phone to my mum and asked her to set a time limit (that included a password that only she knew) for social media engagement per day. This simple change allowed me to stay off my phone for more extended periods. Secondly, I deactivated my social media accounts during exam or assessment blocks. This was my social media detox. Even though it was tremendously challenging to cut off Instagram for two weeks straight - I persevered, which allowed me to perform better, increasing my rank! There were two main reasons teenagers felt the need to go on social media in my exploration. Firstly, it was the validation sought from the media. Being available and online is a pivotal part of the Gen Z as otherwise, they experience 'FOMO' (fear of missing out). In my personal experience, whenever I am off my phone, I get this innate anxiety that prompts me to pick my phone up again to check if anyone has texted me or if any new memes have surfaced on the net since I last went on it. Especially in the 21st century, the need to be active on social media is an integral part of our identity as it shapes how we perceive the material. Social media gives teenagers and adolescents freedom of expression as well as validation. Social media is designed to create an addiction to it, making individuals come back. This causes the impressionable young minds to come back to it to fit in. Moreover, other than the addiction aspect of social media, there is a much further consequence to teenagers being online: its drastic impacts on their mental health. Research done by the University of Queensland suggests that given the constant growth of the adolescent mind - exposure to social media can cause depression, anxiety, and loneliness. In addition, With the increasing rate of social media being a career choice for many - teenagers are promoted to post content online, causing them to endure unnecessary stress on their image in the social realm. Along with this, there is a development of envy and low esteem created in teenagers when viewing the idyllic lifestyles of their favorite influencers. This is the eye candy that distracts individuals; the beautiful lives, the funny videos, and the trends they cannot experience. And this is what makes social media so special for my generation! Secondly, task-oriented distraction is what leads teenagers to use social media. A rewatch of Taylors Swift's new music video sounds like a better alternative to starting a 2000-word chemistry report due next week. According to an Article by Teun Siebrs, it was found that there is an exponential growth among adolescents who are unable to concentrate on a particular task as they are often distracted by their devices. I second this notion as well; I get tired just by doing two integration math questions, and by the time I am on my third - my fingers are scrolling my Instagram feed. Social media prompts individuals with a constant rush of indefinite stimuli, every scroll on TikTok is something new, something different. The stimuli are also user-centric, making the person come back for more. Research done by Tamsin Mahalingam reveals that "those who showed lower levels of attention control were particularly at risk of negative mental health effects of heavy social media use." As my parents say, my attention span is that of Sid, the sloth from the ice age! Although there is this constant anxiety about studying, social media acts like a sponge, tempting us back into it. Although my points on social media might seem inglorious, I still dearly love it. Through social media, I have been able to feel included in our ever-so-expanding world, creating an identity that I never knew I had! I can communicate with people worldwide (safely!) and get to know about hundreds of new cultures, ideologies, and religions. The TikTok trends and the Instagram posts of all my friends are little jolts of joy that I enjoy. To sum it all up, social media is a primary concern for today's generation due to its impacts on addiction and distraction to today's youth. Still, you can make a difference to your internet addictions by realising and accepting that social media is addictive and taking action! Arya - 17yrs I am exhilarated to be part of the Safe on Social Youth Advisory Committee. I am an individual who enjoys meeting new people and, most notably, making a difference that helps our ever-so-expanding world. Being an avid social media user has enabled me to be a part of our digital community, a norm in our society. Therefore, making our collective digital interaction more safe and secure is one of my many interests that drove my passion for being a part of Safe on Social.

***Trigger warning*** This article discusses sexual violence. My generation, Gen Z, is the first to have grown up without knowing a world in which the internet was not an omnipresent and entirely engaging feature of everyday life. It has uprooted various social norms, provided access to vast amounts of information, content, and other online users, and remains unregulated in many aspects. While some in Gen Z may have memories of accessing the family PC desktop, used and monitored by their parents, over 75% of Australian kids today have their smartphone by the age of 13, increasing to over 90% for 14-17-year-olds, according to Roy Morgan Institute research. This is hardly a shocking revelation to anybody. Still, it can inform our understanding of the potential for widespread trends in how access to the internet can and is affecting young people. One of the least discussed (at least in social and familial circles) implications of this ubiquitous and unbridled access to content are the availability of internet porn to anyone, anywhere, at any time. This has culminated in the rise of porn exposure and addiction as a serious phenomenon becoming increasingly common. Additionally, this phenomenon disproportionately afflicts young men and boys. Incredibly harmful outcomes flow into adulthood; the stunting of social relationships in the formative years, the creation of sexual conditioning that may be harmful to both the porn user and their sexual partners, and substantial alterations of brain structure similar to those observed in drug addicts. However, for most of those in my peer group, including myself until now, these effects have been vaguely understood, and porn is treated as an endemic condition of puberty and 'natural' sexual development. Of course, young people will be interested in sex during puberty and adolescence; hell, it's a genetic priority that our brains` incentivise! This availability, novelty, and variety of sexual content is not something that the brain has evolved for, let alone the adolescent one. Porn has even worked its way into popular culture, with pornstars branding themselves like celebrities to become known in the milieu of internet fame and' influencers.' Young people today, particularly men, may be more familiar with pornstars than politicians, sports players, and actors. I could list some people right now that I know that the majority of my friends, as well as boys of the same age, will have viewed or at least been exposed to in memes or through conversation. Is this inherently bad? I don't think so. Nonetheless, it is a symptom of a generation that is incredibly familiar with porn, and the de-emphasisation of the effects of porn is not a healthy trend. It will continue to negatively impact young people until addressed in schools, social environments, and household discussions. So, why is porn so bad for you, and what can parents or young people do about it? Young and adolescent boys exist in puberty's intense and confusing period. Billions of neural connections are being created. The mood swings and wild variation caused by this, as the site 'Your Brain On Porn 'calls it, the "sex, drugs and rock and roll" phase of development, engenders more risk-taking and impulsive behaviour. Activities that we reinforce in this time will cause new neural pathways to form that make reactions to certain stimuli quicker and more addictive, especially if the activity releases a lot of dopamine. The activities you engage in while these connections are being made will determine what sticks around and is later pruned as new connections fall away in adulthood. The primetime of this frenzy is around the ages of 11-12. According to a Teacher Magazine article published in July of 2015 titled 'How Consuming Porn Affects Boys and Their Relationships,' the age most young boys are exposed to is to porn is around 9-12 years old. This means that the sexual associations young boys make, at this point in their lives, guided mainly by porn, will stick around into adulthood, proving difficult though not impossible, to reconfigure. It has also been found that the intense variety and novelty of porn available triggers deep primitive mechanisms in the brain that can increase dopamine release when people are exposed to novel sexual stimuli. Coupled with the intense variety and novelty that online porn facilitates, you have a recipe for intense dopamine craving and release whenever a sexual stimulant is observed. This profoundly alters the brain, building dopamine tolerance and resulting in 'sensitisation,' a hyper-reactivity to certain stimuli, in this case, sexual impulses. Brain scans have shown that this effect is observable and that young people are specifically vulnerable to it. In a study entitled 'Groundbreaking Neuroscience Study Finds Striking Similarities in Brains of Porn and Drug Addicts,' the findings were as follows. "This brain imaging scan shows the brain activity of healthy volunteers when shown pornography, compared to compulsive users. The response in the porn addict group was much higher, indicating much stronger triggers and urges." Furthermore, researchers found that the younger volunteers had intensified reward circuit responses when viewing porn. This shows that more intense dopamine spikes and higher reward sensitivity are significant factors in teenagers being more vulnerable to addiction and sexual conditioning. This evidence of brain change isn't to say that all those exposed to porn will become helplessly addicted or brainwashed into believing that porn is representative of real sex. Boys in secondary education are not dumb, and there is a bit of an implicit sense of what is real and what is not among high school boys. As boys interviewed for The Guardian entitled 'Here's an idea: why don't we get girls to talk to boys about their fears and desires,' stated, "Porn is stunt sex. It's not real". Another said: "We have emotions too. But everyone thinks we're just obsessed with sex". This is a sentiment that many of my friends share, and it's easy to discredit the adverse effects of porn on these grounds falsely. But the attitude that men can easily distinguish between what is 'real' and 'fake,' while maybe valid for some, sadly does nothing to counteract the subconscious mental changes that porn induces. Also, as boys who are younger and younger are exposed to increasingly extreme sexual material, the distinction might not be so readily apparent, especially if nobody is talking to them about it. I'm not afraid of admitting that I've watched porn as often as any other teenage boy, though I don't remember the first time I watched it, which worries me. I've never watched it enough that it's affected me to a tangible extent, as far as I can see. It never seemed more appealing than going outside, hanging out with friends, or talking to real girls, but I haven't contemplated how it made its way into my life until now is distressing. Considering how profound and misunderstood the sexual act is for most young boys, porn to be the first avenue of exposure and knowledge seems confusing, counter-intuitive, and just plain weird. It's like strapping an L-plater into a high-performance drift car and convincing them that it is representative of the actual experiences they will have on public roads. It's not, and it would be just a bit of a public health hazard to educate kids in this way. Both activities occur in highly contrived environments created for entertainment, with teams of workers ensuring that the extreme display is executed flawlessly. But to an 11-year-old with no perspective or personal experience, how can they tell any difference? I'm deeply worried that porn use is flying under the radar of parents and that the boys, girls, men, and women who watch porn are entirely unaware that their use of porn can have such a profound effect on their psyche, physical brain structure, social life and treatment of others in sexual situations. I'm sure that the vast majority, if not all of my male peers, view porn regularly, and they are just as likely to lack awareness as to how this affects them. There are rarely conversations with kids of young ages about porn, in an educational environment or at home. Many parents can't or won't believe that young children are exposed to it. Trust me, they are. On the school bus, at a friend's house, on their phones, on laptops, on social feeds, and even on school computers (much to the distress of school IT departments everywhere). It's all sitting there, just a click and a tap away. The question is, how do you discuss these things with children? I interviewed a couple of Reddit users from the subreddit r/pornfree, a community of people dedicated to overcoming porn addiction. Their personal experiences matched the previously outlined effects to a great degree. A Reddit user, who I will call 'Jackson' for anonymity, had this to say: "I started viewing pornography when I was ten years old in the summer of 2014. Unlike some members of the group, I hadn't fallen into things like pornography that conflicted with my sexual orientation or liked furry [stuff] but more videos that were rougher towards women and had some element of not being consensual. (I'm not talking about real rape videos but rough/struggle/forced videos that are still incredibly problematic)." As 'Jackson' describes here, the desensitisation that porn causes incentivises more and more extreme types of porn viewing. As the intensity of the content escalates, sexual behaviour can become more aggressive and damaging to both the porn user and any sexual partner/s. This is because porn often gives rise to what researchers from 'Your Brain On Porn call "unrealistic sexual values and beliefs." Essentially, a distorted view of healthy and 'normal' sexual behaviour can have damaging effects on sexual health. According to the aforementioned Teachers Magazine article, "Considering that 88 percent of porn scenes contain acts of physical violence or aggression towards women and 95 percent of females who are abused in porn scenes often respond with a neutral or pleasurable expression, GPs are reporting an increase in sexual injuries to young women as a result of boys attempting to replicate moves as seen in porn." This increase in sexually aggressive behaviour is incredibly unhealthy and may lead to increasingly misogynistic attitudes among men AND women. Another user who we'll call 'Adam' had this to say: "As a teen, porn made me miss out on a lot. I often made the excuse that I couldn't hang out with my friends because I was 'studying.' But in addition to that, I think it made me waste my talents. The first videos I ever edited were porn compilations, the first time I learned Linux was to stop windows from spying on my porn. While I still care deeply about internet privacy today, many of the things I learned were ultimately to hide my porn. Seems silly now that the goal is to no longer watch it. …my first step to stopping was telling someone, and so I went to therapy. First [I] told my therapist, then my brother. Accountability is definitely huge." 'Adam's' experience brings up another critical area of concern surrounding porn use. The socialisation of young people can be completely hampered by the use of and engagement with pornographic material. Internet porn use often results in "lower degrees of social integration, increases in conduct problems, higher levels of delinquent behaviour, higher incidence of depressive symptoms, and decreased emotional bonding with caregivers." It can also cause a decrease in self-confidence and self-image, with girls reporting feeling 'physically inferior' to the women they view in porn and boys feeling fear about their inability to perform as well as men in porn. My parents never talked to me until I was at least 16, and even then, I felt shame and embarrassment, even though there was none implied in the way they talked about it with me. It would seem that the internet has forced the hands of educators and parents alike, regardless of whether they are ready to have these conversations with their young people or not. The fact that sex is commoditised into bite-size packets of pleasure is the epitome of our age. What I feel is missing from the porn debate is this: sexuality is a hugely influential force in every single human, and we are driven to it strongly. It's about survival! In amongst all of this short-term stimulation, is there room for a discussion about sex as a sacred and ancient act? Maybe so, but the way these conversations are conducted, wherever it may be, better be well thought out, lest we further confuse kids by muddling words and equivocating out of discomfort. We need to teach children and teenagers about the power of their sexuality, how their brains are hardwired, and how porn manipulates this. Put the power in the hands of our young people so that they can make fully informed choices about what they choose to view. The wide availability of porn means we will be forced to have these discussions earlier and earlier. Still, I just don't think it will go away any time soon, even if porn, especially the violent sort, is miles away from the reality of the sacred impulse of humans to have sex. So what can be done? Frankly, I just don't know. The porn industry is a behemoth, and people are increasingly spending more and more of their time watching porn. Pornhub says in their yearly statistics review that 33.5 billion visits were made to pornhub alone in 2018. They also say that an average visit duration worldwide is approximately 10 minutes, equal to roughly 635,000 years spent watching porn. As I conducted research for this article, I found an incredible wealth of peer-reviewed studies about the negative impacts of porn on everybody, especially young people, and meta-analyses of these studies reinforce their findings. Yet, a strong contingent of columnists, psychology journals, and newspapers claim that porn is no such social crisis, just a harmless habit that even does people good by allowing them to alleviate stress and anxiety. This is eerily reminiscent of industries like big tobacco, promoting harmful behaviour in the face of clear, peer-reviewed scientific evidence. It's unlikely that the widespread availability of internet porn will disappear in the near future. The industry is too large, and I believe that the consequences of such general availability have not come to full fruition yet for our young people who are going out into the new world of sexual experience. Educators and parents alike need to start getting informed and talking to their kids in an honest way about porn, a way that excludes moral judgement from the conversation. I suggest you read more on the subject and make up your own mind if you haven't been convinced here. Further Reading: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/ "The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents: A Review of the Research" Eric W. Owens, Richard J. Behun,Jill C. Manning & Rory C. Reid, Pages 99-122 | Published online: 09 Apr 2012 Words by Lenny, 18yrs I'm eighteen, and I go to Cape Byron Steiner School in Byron Bay. I joined the Safe On Social Youth Advisory because I am deeply committed to learning about topics that interest me and spreading that knowledge to as many people as possible. By telling stories that often go untold, especially from the perspective of a young man, I hope to bring a diversity of voice that is incredibly important, especially in the online space. These new technologies affect us all, and whether you like it or not, young people are at the forefront of these changes and the challenges they present. Who better to learn from than the people who use the technology the most?"

Last week an article was published about teens who are committing crimes and sharing about them online to remote outback stations in an effort to rehabilitate them. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10822981/Eshays-sent-work-remote-outback-station-no-mobile-data-youth-crime-plan.html Codey 17yrs from Auckland NZ, a member of our Youth Advisory wrote his thoughts on the article. 'Eshays.' Delinquent teenagers who take pride in causing distress and difficulty in their schools and communities. The kids who hang out around the train station rocking Nike TNs and bum bags may need to be wary of their future. As the Daily Mail has said, "Teenage criminals, also known as 'eshays,' will soon face a punishment that is hoped will scare them straight - an extended period with no mobile data." To reduce youth crime, Wyroodah Station in the outback of Western Australia will become a secondary location for carrying out punishment against these troubled teens. Working will keep them away from crime, teach them valuable life-long skills, and keep their negative social media impact to a minimum. Time away from home will do a lot of good; for everyone. These teens are among the next generation of our society. This is an indisputable fact and should be taken more seriously than people care to do so. Time away from their environment inevitably makes them less accustomed to their fractured way of life. If this time out is spent doing productive and meaningful things, committing a crime will be put on the back burner in their brain, which means they will be much less of a problem in their communities. I support this form of retribution as it is unique and frightening to a group of people addicted to their phones – teenagers. For a generation who spends an average of 7 hours a day on their phones, taking that away is one way to get things done and simultaneously detox from the stress of social media. I also believe in the humanising of convicts and how it reduces recidivism by rehabilitating inmates instead of depriving them of social interactions and maintaining the habits and mentality that landed them in correction facilities in the first place. This is seen in Scandinavian countries with a much lower recidivism rate with an average of 20-30%, as opposed to the US or UK with much higher rates (66% within three years). Part of this rehabilitation will develop valuable skills used in everyday life, such as being punctual and working hard. Skills that benefit the youth could be used to find a job after their punishment has been carried out. Part of their disciplinary sentence will be to "learn to feed and manage animals on the property with about 19,000 cattle." Although unorthodox, it teaches these 'eshays' skills such as management and teamwork as managing a property of this size alone is extremely hard if not impossible, further bettering their ability to interact in ways beneficial for many people. These rehabilitating measures will help their reintroduction into normal society, similar to what is seen in Scandinavian prisons. This is beneficial for those convicted, but this form of constructive rehabilitation takes less of a toll on the guards and overseers. Less stress will mean more quality time with their families and longer lives – as reported, correctional officers in the US have a life expectancy 12 years shorter than the general population. It cannot be denied that most of this generation's teenagers lead at least two lives – one in real life and one on their phones. Social media is not always a kind place, but it is an escape for many. An escape from their reality and their life at home/school/work etc. It is also apparent that social media is influential. People can express themselves, and others who think and feel the same will express themselves similarly. These eshays who post themselves "driving in stolen cars and robbing properties" influence the younger generation and make them believe this is 'admirable' or 'cool' behaviour, potentially poisoning the mind of the young and their future aspirations. Founder of St Giles Trust SOS Project, Junior Smart, regards social media as "normalising violence." The prevalence of crime and violence on social media has become so apparent that the youth may believe it is everyday, ordinary. Examples of this can be seen by the impact Australian drill groups such as "ONE FOUR" and the "HP Boyz," whose songs glorify crime and violence, could be seen as 'responsible' for sparking a lot of the 'eshay' culture around Australia and even New Zealand. Again, a testament to the influential power social media has on the youth especially. The less of this criminal activity present on the internet for kids to be influenced by may result in less crime and make social media a more positive space for other users, both young and old. Do I believe that sending 'eshays' to the middle of nowhere in the outback will be beneficial and impactful? Yes. I think it will deter future offenders and outright stop youth crime in Australia? Certainly not. However, I believe this kind of punishment will make those who commit these crimes and post their fatuous activities for the whole world to see, think twice about it. I think this type of punishment will go a long way for offenders and their communities and make their presence on social media less toxic and destructive. Hopefully, this form of discipline will turn these hooligan teens into indispensable members of society and change their lives for the better. I am 17 years old and from Auckland, New Zealand. I am in my final year of high school (Year 13 here in NZ, Year 12 over in Aus), and plan to pursue tertiary education in law when I graduate. I have joined the Youth Committee in the hopes of spreading a positive message and hopefully, I can make a personal impact on those who read what I write, and hear what I say. At the same time, I wish to be a role model both online as well as in real life. I hope that along this journey we can all learn from each other and strive to become better versions of ourselves

Photo Lisa Gough @lisa_g_photography After my school flooded, it left me and probably many others with a huge sense of loss. The place we were so familiar with, where we went for six hours every day, five days a week, suddenly gone along with everything inside. Everything familiar. I still don't think I have come to terms with it. But as our Principal always reminds us, "It's not just a collection of buildings, it's a community of people." As long as our school community is together, we will find our feet, and we have. Online and off. Social media is one of the most significant aspects of our world today, brightening our future and the future of generations to come. One question I would like to answer is, How can we as individuals use it to do good in the community instead of spreading hurtful messages, lies, and unkindness? This question can be answered right here… The Lismore floods, February/March 2022. The devastating events which took place earlier this year are the large-scale event that will sit at the forefront of many people's minds for many years to come. The natural disaster wiped out nearly all of downtown Lismore, businesses, homes, and belongings. Lismore and many communities around the area came together during the floods. They were providing essential supplies and homes to the people in need. Social media was a way in which people could communicate the needs of individuals and families to others, in turn gaining the supplies needed. During the height of the flood, the SES was able to use platforms such as Facebook to find homes where people needed to be rescued. In the aftermath of the floods, social media was also used to bring the community together in cleaning up Lismore and the surrounding areas. The flood surge in Lismore was not expected to reach the record-breaking height, causing many serious problems for families all around Lismore who could not escape their homes. Over social media, individuals posted URGENT messages over many community pages hoping that they would reach the SES in time. The SES and the NSW State Emergency responded swiftly by roaming Facebook, taking note of all urgent posts they could then communicate with, and acting accordingly. Through the hard work and the use of Social Media platforms, the Emergency Services could track and save many lives before it was too late. This was also done with the community's help, who offered their services when it was safe. Over a short period, I was able to work with some of the NSW State Emergency Services workers and volunteers by searching through different Facebook community pages (one of these pages was Resilient Lismore - Lismore Helping Hands) and communicating with any people that were still in urgent need of flood relief services. This is one way social media was used positively by communities to save lives. Between losing homes and beginning the clean-up, everything was a big mess. Many families required food, shelter, and clothing. This was when social media in all age groups came into action, gathering resources, fundraising, donations and finding places for people to stay. In the aftermath of the floods, Social media played a massive role in morale. All of Lismore was cleaning out floodwater from buildings; couches in trees, mattresses in bushes, and mud everywhere. Everything had happened so rapidly that there had been no time to mentally stop and process the events that had occurred. During the clean-up, people began to understand the damage and the need for support. Through social media photos and posts sharing the devastation, many groups came to Lismore every day to help clean. They were giving their time to the families of Lismore. My Dad and his workmates spent all day, every day from around seven in the morning to five in the afternoon, helping people to clean out their homes. Many people like this were out helping in the community, most people helping family in friends, and some just helping out where and when it was needed. During this, I watched many people sharing their gratefulness for each other over social media. Through social media, young people were able to ask their followers and the community for resources such as extra beds, sheets, pillows, and clothes that could be brought to the evacuation centres and dispersed among the people staying there. If evacuation centres needed specific things like more food or hygiene supplies, they would often be minutes away because of the efficient use of social media. Instagram was also a great platform used so that people from in and around Australia could donate. Young people helped and were heard. The use of social media by young people in this time of need provided quick access to supplies and raised awareness and support. The floods impacted everyone, whether they were directly affected or not. And although many people lost so much, we gained hope. Hope in our community, hope in each other, and hope that social media can be used positively in a time of need. I’m Drue, I'm 16, and I joined the Safe on Social Youth Committee as I believe it will be such a significant learning experience that will go towards the security of the online world. I believe social media is such a large part of today’s world, positively and negatively impacting individuals and society. Hopefully, through the Youth Committee, I can help create a safer online space for everyone.

Facebook (recently renamed Meta) - The beaming social media platform of the 21st century that revolutionised social media engagement and entertainment on a macro level is facing a crisis. This invention allowed individuals worldwide to network with one another - an all-in-one stop for commenting, sharing, liking, and posting whatever by whoever. This Mark Zuckerberg invention has come under the threat of being overtaken by other social media platforms. Notably, the video-sharing platform 'Tik Tok' and the instant messaging app 'Snapchat.' Tiktok- has gained immense popularity as the 'app that distracts Gen Z's from their homework,' the app where anyone can go viral, and the app where new trends emerge almost daily. But why? Why are the youth of today ditching Facebook for a new-age video-sharing platform, Tiktok? What is so special about some lip-syncing and dancing videos? Being a product of the 21st century, I am guilty of downloading 'Tik Tok' out of curiosity in 2020 because apparently, it has a lot of 'funny lip-syncing and dancing videos. But little did I know that this app would change the way the world perceived social media entertainment. Personally, Facebook seemed pretty outdated due to this generation's designated label as a 'Boomer social network,' an app where your parents post embarrassing school photos. An interview done by Insider suggests that many teens refuse to use Facebook due to platforms increasing the older demographic (Press-Reynolds, 2021). Some teens also proposed that the content on Facebook is too generic and blame the algorithm for its un-enticing content. Although Facebook might be their first ounce of a social media presence for most youth, the emergence of new, more innovative entertainment might result in meta users decreasing drastically in the coming years. A report by the India Times suggests that 'Facebook is to lose 1.5 Million Teen Users As Youngsters migrate to Apps like Tik Tok and or Snapchat'. Further, Incoming statistics from eMarketer forecasts suggest that Facebook has reported a daily loss in users for the first time since the birth of this app 18 years ago. But why does Facebook do a terrible job attracting youngsters to their platform, and what are apps such as TikTok and Snapchat doing differently? The main reason teens are moving away from platforms such as Facebook is Meta's lack of innovation to fit into the trends and attractions of recent years. Some might say that Facebook seems to be a quite repetitive platform and does not cater to the Gen Z demographic quite as well. TikTok has become so popular - more popular than its preceding app 'Musically'- because of its algorithm. Although most, if not all, social media platforms encompass a particular type of code that creates user-specific content - TikTok's algorithm is different as it seems to be insanely accurate, as suggested by an article published by Kelsay Weekman 'How TikTok' FYP (For you Page) is scarily accurate.' This article proposes how Tiktok recommends content through user interaction and video information to its users. The more you use the app, the more user-centred content will be delivered to you!. This essentially contributes to a considerable part of Tik Tok's success compared to other social media platforms and is why Facebook is losing more of its users daily. Moreover, The content format of TikTok seems more appealing to the present youth. The short 15-30 second videos provide the user with relevant information and stimulate a dopamine response which compels them to keep scrolling. In comparison to Meta apps such as Instagram and Facebook - which usually gives control in the hands of the user on what they want to watch. For example: On Facebook, you are presented with the home screen where you can view pictures, and videos from individuals who 'you' as the user, choose to follow. But TikTok takes a different approach as it gives a recommendation first through its 'fyp - for your page.' Facebook requires its user to essentially network constantly to communicate, stay up-to-date and be in touch with close ones, but Tik Tok takes away the 'individual contribution' of 'networking' by providing the users with the 'networks' through its 'fyp' and video format. Some might argue, 'Why is Tik Tok so popular when all you can do is view videos and upload videos? In actuality, Facebook has more functions of engagement!'. One reason for this might be because the current generation is moving away from the standard social media criteria of picture posts and moving into an era where video film dominates. TikTok seems to take the limelight as an app that caters to the validation and expression that today's generation seeks. Debra Aho Williamson, the principal analyst at Insider Intelligence, suggests that "It has moved well beyond its roots as a lip-syncing and dancing app. It creates trends and fosters deep connections with creators that keep users engaged, video after video." (the Guardian, 2022a). Other social media apps, such as Snapchat, also attract the younger demographic as it moves away from the conventional use of social media. According to a study done by Texas Tech University, Snapchat's popularity stems from its simplicity and easy-to-use format. To conclude, Yes! Teens are to ditch Meta for the better as they can relate more to the content created mainly through people around their age. Facebook's older demographic is not being able to appeal to them as much! Teens can also feel like they are in a community - the Tiktok community - as they can bond with people who share the same FYP, such as joining viral dancing trends or recreating trendy food recipes together. The constant scrolling, liking, commenting, sharing, and "Yes, I saw this!" due to the phenomenal Tik Tok algorithm makes Teens attracted to this app, which Facebook seems never to latch on to! Arya - 17yrs old I am an individual who enjoys meeting new people and, most notably, making a difference that helps our ever-so-expanding world. Being an avid social media user has enabled me to be a part of our digital community, a norm in our society. Therefore, making our collective digital interaction more safe and secure is one of my many interests that drove my passion for being a part of Safe on Social.

Written by Drue - 16yrs In the ever-evolving world of TikTok, trends change, and what people are interested in changes. One current trend involves young girls taking pictures of themselves, posting them on TikTok, and asking the people watching to rate them (yes, their physical appearance) in the comments. By asking people a question that requires them to respond, they increase the video rating. This is a way for teens to gain likes and comments to widen their audience, just one possible reason for this trend. As the young adults that we are, heading into our late teenage years, we need to find ourselves or, if not, at least to fit in, to try and feel good about ourselves. As a teenager, I understand the pressure of trying to fit in either at school or outside of school. I understand how for whatever reason, the social settings at school require you to change who you are so that you don't bring attention to yourself for being different or not following the trends. It is not a bad thing to want to fit in; it's pretty normal until it gets to the point where you need someone else's approval to feel accepted. The information below should help to explain why this could be occurring, how these videos are generated through TikTok, and how it can be unsafe to post personal pictures of yourself. What are TikTok Ratings? As a video gains more and more like, its rating increases. This means it is spread to a larger audience, where more people will view it. As the video gets a higher rating, it increases the chance of being recommended on people's 'For You' page. How do they work (algorithm etc.)? The TikTok algorithm regulates what people are most interested in, allowing it to show up on the 'For You' page. It begins by displaying a range of videos, all from different categories such as 'DIY' or 'Comedy,' and from each video you watch, it will pick out the ones you linger most on. The more videos that you interact with from the same genre, the more that will pop up on your 'For You' page. In the same way, if you have posted a video that other people are sharing, commenting on, and liking, it will spread to a broader audience. An experiment was done on TikTok where a group created ten 'bots' posing as people on TikTok to see how fast the TikTok algorithm would find their interests. In most cases, it took only forty minutes to two hours for the TikTok algorithm to work out everything it needed to about this "person." TikTok only needs three things: Music Hashtags Location TikTok uses an algorithm that caters to what you are interested in. From the videos you like or comment on to the videos you stop or linger on. TikTok uses this little information to personalize your 'For You' page. Guillaume Chaslot is the founder of Algotransperancy, he worked on the algorithm for Youtube, and he says that TikTok finds the videos which will "make you click, that will make you watch." Overall, the TikTok algorithm constantly changes and adapts to what interests people most. The videos correspond with what you watch most and what is receiving the most likes, comments, and shares. What are the risks involved with sharing personal photos like mentioned above There are many risks to sharing personal photos on any platform. Smartphones make it very easy to take and exchange pictures, and although it is good to share special moments over a social media network with family and friends, it is not always safe. Joseph Turow is a professor of communication at the Annenberg School of Communication; he says, "the more photos reflect the context of a person and their relationship to others, the more that person can be denoted by their location, which allows hackers greater access to personal information." By sharing personal photos, there is always a chance that this information will be shared or used to hack into accounts. All images contain dates, locations, etc., which can be used to collect personal information. When a photo is shared, it uploads the metadata of this specific photo. 'Metadata' contains information such as camera model or shutter speed, including the camera's identifier number and GPS coordinates from where the picture was taken. When shared over social media, it can be dangerous. With the number of social media posts flying around the internet, it is sometimes hard to decipher what is real and what is fake. No matter what age they are or their social standing on social media, everyone is imperfect, which is what makes us who we are. Self-esteem is one of the significant contributors to how people see themselves and a major contributor to how they want others to see them. We are putting ourselves all over TikTok, spending hours taking the right picture/video and finally posting it just so that we can be rated and commented on. This might make us feel good about ourselves for a short amount of time, our self-esteem might grow for a few hours, and we might feel great, but in reality, this probably won't last. It's a way for young adults to grow in their self-esteem, "fit in," and perhaps create a space where they feel accepted. Even if it isn't truly who they are. Teens could use this trend for many different reasons, but the main one is to gain a higher rating and audience on TikTok. This trend might be taking a bit of a risk; it is essential to express yourself in your way, but it's always good to think about your safety on social media first. I’m 16, and I joined the Youth Committee as I believe it will be such a significant learning experience that will go towards the security of the online world. ​ I believe social media is such a large part of today’s world, positively and negatively impacting individuals and society. ​ Hopefully, through the Youth Committee, I can help create a safer online space for everyone.

A course of ever-improving, lightweight, interactive virtual reality (VR) headsets allows players to fully experience the stories and digitalised action of the gaming world. Whether you're working a nine to five serving gourmet meals in Job Simulator, slashing blocks to a catchy tune in Beat Saber, or running around the dimly lit hallways and dungeons of Hogwarts with Harry Potter: Waltz of the Wizard. Whatever story you wish to control, the Oculus has you covered. Much like other tech giants such as Microsoft, Google, and Nintendo. Meta, owned by Facebook, has been providing headsets for public use since the latter end of the 2010s, allowing consumers to be engaged in the immersive fantasy, only if you log into your Facebook account, that is. Meta has been developing VR headsets since 2010, with its first release being the Oculus Rift in 2016. The newest installment in the headset lineup is the Oculus Quest 2: building off of its predecessor, The Oculus Quest. The Oculus has its own set of games that can only be accessed and played through the device. Players can interact with VR-only gameplay by connecting the headset to either a computer or Xbox device. The Oculus is also a popular headset for showcase internet gamers, YouTubers, and streamers. With its versatile use and ever-expanding catalogue, it's safe to assume children might want the latest Oculus device as a birthday gift. My experience with the VR realm has been highly positive; I had the opportunity to play Beat Saber at my high school's IT club back in 2019 when the Oculus Rift S and the Oculus Quest were first released. Despite being directed to a safe distance without any obstacles, I somehow managed to hit one of the remotes so hard on the desk that it disconnected! My other experience has been with my family's Playstation VR. I desperately tried not to scream as I checked security cameras for rouge animatronics in Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted. Meta's Oculus works similarly to other VR headsets on the market. By using goggles that can be adjusted and secured to your head, two handheld controls work together to let you interact with games. The headset is used to primarily see yourself and your surroundings, while the controls are your new hands, which you can use to pick up and interact with items in different games. You can move as freely as you like, so long as you don't bump into anything in the real world. However, the ever-updating immersion begs the question: How safe are these devices for children? Safe on Social was contacted by a concerned parent regarding the device's safety and what exactly can be accessed using it. When researching parental access, Meta's support centre states, "While Portal is designed to help families connect, it's not a children's device and should not be used without parental supervision." Do the Oculus feature any parental controls? Meta has a pre-established safety setting for their devices, called Household mode. Household mode allows parents to track and regulate what children and contacts can download and play through their Oculus devices using the Portal app, including Oculus headsets. Specific contacts and apps can be restricted using a passcode, and parents can adjust what contacts and apps can be unrestricted when using the household mode. However, with specific computer and Xbox games that use the Oculus to experience gameplay, they cannot be reached through the Meta household mode. These games are usually accessed or purchased through the Xbox or Steam stores. To use the Oculus, either parents or children must log in using a Facebook account. While Meta is still changing this method, children have to be over 13 to create their own Facebook accounts, meaning younger children may use their parents' Facebook accounts to play. Facebook friends can't see what children are playing through their own or your account, adding additional privacy to the gaming experience. Possible risks for children Potential risks for children lie in the games that can be played. Single-player games, such as Beat Saber, are only experiences for one person, meaning no one can join the player or try to contact you through the game's player base. However, multi-player games, the most popular being VR chat and Rec Room, are games where online spaces are made for players to meet and interact in an entirely digital landscape. Since both VR chat and Rec room require players to use their voice to chat with others and join public and private digital rooms with other players, hate speech, harassment, and bullying, have been known to occur in these spaces. Rec room and VR chat both have safety settings in their games, where you can mute, block, and report users who create unsafe areas for players. Safety star rating 4/5 Written by Scarlett I’m currently in Year 12 and love studying all things cultural and sociological. What drove me to become a part of the Safe on Social team was contributing to fostering a more equal and safe online world and the opportunity to educate Australians to promote a healthy relationship with the internet. My skills regarding managing cyber/creative burnout and acknowledging and responding to online criticism and hate will positively impact readers and the community.

The young people of today live in the thick of social media, they use it every day as their primary source of communication. They have bared witness to cyberbullying, image sharing that spirals out of control, and are using some of the newest apps and games that many of us have never heard of. They are the ones that we as adults, parents, and educators, need to be listening to. We are thrilled to introduce you to the young people who make up the very first Committee of its kind – the Safe on Social Youth Advisory Committee. Chosen via a brief essay submission on why they thought that would be well suited to join our team, we had space for 6 young people in the Committee and ended up choosing 12 from this process. A few of our youth advisory team members speak different languages at home and they all have very different and profound lived experiences. Our Youth Advisory Committee meet fortnightly via Zoom and guide us in our content creation. This team of young people will share stories every month, educating, informing, and empowering you and your School to have important conversations with your students. These stories can be read together in class and shared on your social pages, supporting the need for young people to have a voice about online safety and be heard. Please meet our wonderful team… https://www.safeonsocial.com/our-team

Imagine you are hosting an outdoor movie-theatre experience on Tuesday night at the local cricket field. The date is fast approaching, and in an attempt to reduce marketing costs, you choose to promote this event on YikYak through a text-based post referred to as a "yak." By doing so, you can bolster the significance of this event. After submitting the post, users near you, classed as the "herd," are given access to view the post and upvote the trend to express their interest and further popularise the event to reach more people on the app. From this perspective, YikYak becomes a pragmatic solution to financial and social considerations when planning an event as the stress of endorsement is reduced. However, as is with most things, the ever-relatable quote, "with great power comes great responsibility," becomes easily applicable due to the anonymous aspect of the app, which, if not treated correctly, can do more harm than good. But before delving further into this matter, we must take a moment to look into the characteristics and key features of the app: What is YikYak, and how does it work? Founded by two college students in the United States, YikYak allows local users within a five-mile radius to anonymously connect and share their opinions on a social media platform by posting content and upvoting or downvoting topics, depending on their viewpoint on the matter. Currently only accessible for iOS users, the app allows people living in the same community to bond over similar topics. YikYak first launched in 2013 and then again in 2021. With new "community guardrails" being implemented, the app seeks to bridge community members virtually without fear of recognition. Before shutting down in 2017, it was estimated that over 200 million users were actively utilising the functions and contributing to discussions during the app's peak. Does it feature any parental controls? The latest version of the app does not have a specific "parental control" function. However, it does allow for a "cuss buster" setting where explicit words can be blocked. The guidelines behind this notion read: "If you see a yak that doesn't vibe with the Community Guardrails, please immediately downvote and report it. Yaks that reach -5 total vote points are removed from Yik Yak. Yaks that are reported need to be reviewed by our team before they are removed (unless they reach -5 vote points). Through th e upvote/downvote system, we rely on our community to help make Yik Yak a constructive venue for free and productive speech." Although this does come as an improvement to the original guardrails in the 2013-2017 version of YikYak, many users have been able to find loopholes around this setting opting to use less common derogatory terms in an attempt to bypass the "cuss buster". What are the risks for kids? The anonymity factor causes great distress. Without having comments or posts publicly displaying an individual's identity, there is no way of keeping the user accountable for their actions. This, therefore, increases the risk of bullying and harassment experienced through the app. When first introduced, YikYak was focused heavily on college-aged students, providing them with a platform to express their feelings about life and school in an acceptable manner without worrying over other users' views on them. However, with the new relaunch of the app, the age range has widened to include children aged 12 years and older. As a result, the issue of children potentially conversing with mature-aged adults or having hateful words directed towards them has become a growing concern, specifically due to anonymity. Not only can texts be sent without public identification, but they can also include inappropriate topics for younger users. Unlike other social media platforms where private messaging or 'dm-ing' can take place, YikYak does not provide a function for direct communications. It is concerning how easy the exchange of personal information within "herds" is. If not guided by a parent, children may fall victim to sharing contact details due to naivety over the seriousness of this action. "Yak's" can also be misleading or the cause of 'fake news' such as an incident where false claims of gun violence were made, resulting in hysteria and numerous interrogations that threatened the shutting down of the app. This furthermore enhances the argument and concern to younger readers needing to be monitored and educated on how to respond to situations such as these, for they may not be in a position to separate what is truthful from what is fictionalised. Safety Star Rating 2/5 About the author - Gwyneth I live in Wollongong and am currently in my final year of high school (yay!). As a product of the twenty-first century, I would be lying if I said social media didn't play an important role in my day-to-day life. Because of this, I want to ensure it continues to progress as a safe environment for all users. I am very excited to be part of the Youth Advisory Committee and to be connecting with like-minded individuals.

This week, in the middle of his election campaign, the Prime Minister of Australia Scott Morrison announced, "Under a re-elected Morrison Government, tech companies will have 12 months to make it easier to set privacy and location settings, website blockers, filters, privacy and location settings, app store permissions, and screen time limits. If they fail to comply, the companies will be forced to do so under government regulations. Prime Minister Scott Morrison unveiled the reforms as part of the Coalition’s policy on online child safety aimed at radically improving the power parents have over the way their children use their devices." You can read the full article here: https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/national/federal-election/scott-morrison-promises-stricter-parental-controls-for-smart-tech/news-story/d10b40b62b13a4f7037711ce348d6220 This was a big call by the PM. Whilst we 100% support it, we didn't hear or read the "how" this will actually be done. Just that he will if re-elected. What will happen if they don't? Is this just politicking parent fears? We need to realise that the whole of Australia has a smaller population than California. Will they actually listen to us? I hope so, but I also doubt it. So as parents we need to step up and understand what we don't. All of the apps and devices we have ever come in contact with already have parental controls in place. People just don't have the time to look for them. So we are here to help you. Starting with Netflix and Youtube. You can access these through the link below. We would love to hear what apps and devices you actually need help with and we will research, write them in an easy-to-understand way and publish them for you here. NETFLIX Netflix has easy-to-use parental controls, which will allow you to block specific movie or show titles, change the ratings of the titles your children are offered while watching Netflix, and you can even remove the title from the menu options altogether. Setting up parental controls and blocking specific movie/show titles will take some of the work out of trying to keep on top of what your children are viewing and supervising their content. To do this: Go to Netflix.com on your device & sign in to your account. Click the ‘manage profiles’ button and click on which profile you want to edit/restrict. Click on the edit button under ‘Maturity Settings.’ Enter your Netflix password. Set the maturity rating for the programs and films you want to allow in that profile. (G up to R18+) Under ‘Title Restrictions,’ type in the movie’s name or show you wish to restrict or block and select the title from the drop-down menu. The title will now be listed in red and will be blocked. You can unblock it by going back through steps 1-6 and clicking on the X to remove it from the blocked list. Click ‘save,’ and the movie/show title will now be removed from their profile. YOUTUBE YouTube also has some restrictions that you can enable to help manage what your child can view and what content is recommended to them. You can also see what videos your children are searching and viewing while using YouTube and delete the history to stop irrelevant YouTube recommendations. To do this, you will need to sign in to your Google account on YouTube. If you don’t have an account, you should create one as you won’t be able to manage their viewing selections without it. NOTE: YouTube is owned and managed by Google, so you will need a google account or use one you already have. You will use this account to log in. To do this: Go to Youtube.com on your device and sign in to your account. Click on the icon on the far right of the YouTube toolbar (top of the screen/open window), which should have your account user name or photo (if you’ve uploaded one), and a drop-down menu will appear. Click on ‘Restricted Mode’ at the bottom of the menu. (This helps hide potential mature videos but is not 100% accurate but will certainly help) Click on the ‘Activate Restricted Mode’ toggle button, so it’s switched on. Restricted mode will now be activated on that browser only. You will need to go and sign in on any other devices (including your home TV) to turn the restricted mode on all the devices in your home. Click back on the icon at the top right-hand corner of the YouTube toolbar, so the drop-down menu appears again, and then click on ‘Your data in YouTube.’ A Dashboard with multiple options will appear. You can see the content that you have posted on YouTube, your YouTube watch history, and everything you have watched using this account, your YouTube search history, which shows everything that has been searched for while logged into this account and; further options around how and what data YouTube/Google collect and use. We highly recommend looking through these settings and familiarising yourself with them to enable greater control over your data, as many of the settings can be restricted or switched off. You can also alter and restrict what recommended videos are shown to your children by deleting the history, as the YouTube algorithm uses search & watched history to present and recommend further videos whenever they go onto the app. To check and delete the YouTube watch history, do this: While in the ‘Your data on YouTube’ section, click on ‘Manage your YouTube Watch History’ (follow the same for steps to ‘manage YouTube search history’) A pop-up will ask you if you want to enable extra verification. Enable if you have tech-savvy children and you want to stop them from going back in and changing or deleting search histories they don’t want you to see. If you enable it, it will mean that anyone attempting to enter this part of the menu will need to put in a password to go further. Once you are in the ‘Manage your YouTube Watch History’ window, all of the YouTube videos watched on this account will appear by date order from most recent to oldest. There is a search/filter function available if you want to filter the selection, and also, you can set an auto-delete function so that all watch history is deleted after a specific date or automatically, depending on what you would like to set up. To delete a video from the list, click on the X on the right-hand side. Any videos deleted will alter YouTube’s algorithm and should stop those types of videos from being recommended to your account in the future unless someone searches them again. You can also use auto-delete options matching specific parameters by using the ‘Delete activity by’ option or turning off the ‘saving activity’ option altogether. Turning off the ‘saving activity’ option will make it harder for YouTube to recommend videos and potentially suggest random and maybe inappropriate videos, so consider your child’s age, maturity, etc., and what outcome works best for you. We always recommend the YouTube Kids app for children under the age of 13yrs.

We received a message through Facebook alerting us to frightening videos of Huggy Wuggy, a seemingly innocent blue teddy bear that turns into a razor-sharp-toothed villain, singing about hugging and killing. Huggy Wuggy videos are reportedly circulating on platforms like TikTok, Roblox and YouTube, through which children are enticed to watch this cute bear as he frolics around before turning into the scary bear that encourages viewers to ‘take their last breath’. Huggy Wuggy is the main antagonist in the 2021 video game Poppy Playtime and children in the UK have reported feeling traumatised by the videos, which start as a puzzle game and turn into villain Huggy stalking players in a toy factory. As the game hasn’t got an age rating, the content is unfiltered and can freely circulate, often flying under the radar as the names of the videos aren’t overtly sinister. Only one report has been issued to Safe on Social about Huggy Wuggy to date however it is important that parents, carers and educators are aware of its existence in the chance that children see the videos, start a conversation about them or re-enact them in the school playground. Just like all TV characters and video game villains, videos of a violent and scary nature can be distressing to young people. If you discover a child watching these videos or they talk about them, it is essential that you talk about the fact that Huggy Wuggy is not real, it cannot directly harm them and that they are safe. If a child doesn’t bring it up however, we do not recommend talking to them about it as this often encourages them to go searching for it and discuss it with their friends. We know that it can be worrisome for parents, carers and educators however the remedy isn’t to ban children from their devices but rather encourage ongoing conversations and online safety education. Kids need to know that they can tell a trusted adult if something concerns them or makes them feel uncomfortable without the fear of having their devices taken off them. Make sure YOU know how to report and block on every app that children use so that you can help them when needed. This should be the absolute minimum that you know about the games and apps your kids or students are using. We recommend that devices are not allowed in the bedroom when kids are young and as they get older a curfew is implemented. If you have a great understanding of what they are doing on their devices and when, it will give you the opportunity to discuss certain content that children may have viewed if necessary. There are parental controls on all devices, make sure you and the parent community use them. They are usually in the settings area of the device and are relatively easy to step-through. You can use Google and YouTube to access instructions on how to set parental controls for particular devices. Trending videos and games are very tempting for young people. Talk to them about how they should not succumb to peer pressure or do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable online and offline. If they are unsure, make sure they know they can talk to you or another trusted adult. We strongly encourage you to share this information with your community of parents and carers via your newsletter, school app or online platforms so they too can have conversations with their children about online safety and alleviate any potential worry associated with Huggy Wuggy. If you have any questions or concerns about Huggy Wuggy or any other social media platform, please do reach out. Kind regards, Kirra

Schooling online and spending more time online during lockdowns should not mean that kids have free reign. When talking with your kids about their time online, try always to be positive and be open. Put healthy boundaries in place immediately. It is essential to know and understand that many of the same behaviours that keep children safe offline can help keep children safe online. Here are a just few tips: During the lockdowns in 2020, online predatory behaviour towards Australian children skyrocketed to over 122% (quoted by the ACCCE). Now is an excellent opportunity to talk to your kids about what they are doing online, safe and age-appropriate platforms, and the steps they take to stay safe online. Make sure they can tell you without fear of being banned from their devices if anything happens online that makes them feel weird in the tummy, upsets them in any way or they see something confronting. Agree on how much time your kids spend online in addition to their schoolwork. Include how long they can play games, what group chats they are allowed to use, and how long they spend on them. Ban devices at dinner for the whole family…parents, including no devices after a particular time. Encouraging and constantly reinforcing positive social values is extremely important. We all need to be kind, respectful, and responsible online at all times. Understanding why this is so important can help keep kids safe online. Use Safe Search options that most browsers and standard search engines have (usually under the 'Settings' menu) and parental controls on devices, especially for younger children. Know where to seek help and assistance for both you and your child if you should need it. To report severe Cyber Bullying, Image-Based Abuse, Illegal and Harmful Content, and Adult Online Abuse, visit www.esafety.gov.au; if contact includes threats of harm, suspicion of grooming, and child exploitation, contact your local police or Crimestoppers immediately. You must be aware of any signs of your child being distressed. It is also vital that your child can contact and access support, for example, through the kids helpline. https://kidshelpline.com.au/ or phone 1800 551 800 It is worthwhile going to their website and printing out their details and sticking them on the fridge. For adults contact: Beyond Blue – https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ or 1300 224 636 Lifeline - https://www.lifeline.org.au/ or 131114 Be careful not to share photos that may compromise your child or affect their privacy and protection during lockdown when sharing your own stories and pictures. It may seem like a great way to stay connected but always think of your kids' privacy first. If you have a child into gaming, try online gaming to connect with your kids during a lockdown. This can be a valuable way to talk about their world and what is important to them. It is crucial that you also find some time to do offline activities with children and encourage them to do things that we often don't get a chance to, like baking, craft, art, and gardening. You can shop online and have clay, contraptions to press and dry flowers, and everything online. You might find that your kids find a new passion that isn't online! Let us know what you would like help with, and we will answer any questions and create resources to help you through this time. Take Care – Kirra & the Safe on Social team.

Read the full story here: https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/why-we-need-much-more-than-consent-training-in-our-schools-to-stop-sexual-assault/ Warning: This article discusses sexual assault and uses sexual terms. One of the main reasons I wrote my bestselling 2020 book From Boys to Men was to help parents and those who work with tweens and teens to raise boys to be happy, healthy men. No-one wants to raise their son to be a creep, a sexual predator, an abuser of girls and women or worse, a murderer who kills his female partner and children. Sadly, on this International Women’s Day we know that statistically violence against women is increasing. At last there is some serious light being shone on the dark underbelly of inappropriate sexual behaviour and abuse and most specifically rape from boys and men in Australian schools, communities, businesses and parliament. From the moment that the courageous advocate for survivors of sexual assault Grace Tame became Australian of the Year, something shifted. Then, former Liberal staffer Brittany Higgins finally disclosed her alleged (I use that word only for legal purposes) rape in the office of a Federal Minister. This disclosure from an eloquent young woman has been the catalyst for others to speak up about similar assaults in our Federal Parliament. Then appeared the petition by former Kambala student Chanel Contos now signed by almost 30,000 girls and young women. The testimonies that they have left are harrowing and distressing to read however the light needs to shine on the stories so that we collectively know the truth of this violent culture and stop it happening to other girls. Chanel has now set up www.teachusconsent.com and this is a message from that website: “Those who have signed this petition have done so because they are sad and angry that they did not receive an adequate education regarding what amounts to sexual assault and what to do when it happens. These are uncomfortable conversations to have with young teenagers but it is far more uncomfortable to live knowing that something happened to you, or a friend, or perhaps that you were even the perpetrator of it, and it could have been avoided.” Many of the stories shared are about appalling behaviour from boys from elite private schools. Since then, stories have been shared that include government schools so it is safe to say this is problematic for many adolescents, not just in Australia but around the world. I know and I want to acknowledge that not all boys behave in these disgusting ways, but many decent boys stand by and do nothing, and that has to stop too. In Chanel’s words. “The following testimonies were sent to me by those who passionately believe that inadequate consent education is the reason for their sexual abuse during or soon after school.” www.teachusconsent.com First, let me explore some of the reasons why I believe things seem to have got worse since the digital world arrived. Indeed, most children and tweens have smart phones which give them access to content that can be shattering their child-like innocence and feeding a ‘hook-up’ culture where sex without intimacy is almost the norm. We need to keep in mind today’s children, teens and young adults DID NOT create the digital world. It was created by adults and, sadly, it is our young who are paying the price. Access to free porn Porn is freely accessible and sadly many children stumble upon it accidentally. Heck it can even be found on Kids You Tube where sickos embed links that take children to graphic hard-core pornography. There has been a significant increase in inappropriate sexual behaviour, often of a penetrative nature, with children under five. One of the main ways children learn inappropriate sexual play is by seeing pornography or through having another child who has seen it, doing it to them. Research has shown that sibling-on-sibling sexual violence is common among children with problem sexual behaviours – and the vast majority have experienced early sexualisation via porn. The first thing we can do to better prepare our children to avoid being sexually abused or becoming a sexual predator, is to ensure that access to all pornography needs to have an age verification. Many good parents have told me that, even with parental controls and conversations about how to avoid seeing bad pictures and videos, their children have been exposed to porn by other children. With smart phones, this can happen on the bus, in a school playground or on a play date or sleepover. Protective behaviours and body awareness education must start in the home and thankfully there are many excellent picture books and resources that can help with these conversations. We must teach our children about their ownership of their own body and that it’s not OK for anyone to touch their private parts. This is also where we first start talking about the importance of consent. It is now built in to early childhood education and in our schools however we need to be addressing this in our homes just as importantly. No matter how awkward the conversations are, they need to happen, often. Adolescent sexual maturity Evidence is now showing that today’s children are beginning puberty earlier than ever. There are so many changes on this journey – physical, emotional, cognitive and hormonal and one of the drivers on this journey to adulthood is sexual awakening. This is normal, however if our young people are learning how to express their sexuality by watching pornography it is problematic. Why? Firstly, because they are watching porn during a stage where they lack the cognitive capacity to understand and make sound choices through reasoned decision-making using a fully formed executive functioning brain (this doesn’t develop til the mid-20s or so). Secondly, during adolescence, they are biologically driven to belong, and to be liked and validated by those of the same age so they’re more prone to being influenced and so we can understand how this could become problematic. There is plenty of research that indicate that our young people’s sexual behaviour is being shaped (negatively, more often than not) by porn. This problem of male entitlement where boys demand that girls meet their sexual needs, or where boys think there is no problem with raping a sleeping or unconscious girl, has to come from somewhere. It has been a part of traditional patriarchy for years but it seems to be reaching a tipping point for teen boys today – attitudes aren’t shifting as we might expect. This is not just about the lack of consent education. This is a lack of character building from not only their family and society at large, but also their school community, and the communities that surround them whether that be sport, faith or the arts. Raising healthy, happy respectful men takes a lot of time and measured intention and cannot be left to chance or the world wide web. Obviously, from some of the reports, choosing an elite school is no guarantee that your son will become the man you dream of. I argue that we are sending our boys over the bridge to manhood without any rails. Our boys are learning about life online and their phones are the main digital pathway. I have had boys tell me that they don’t need their parents to teach them how to do things because there is always a video on You Tube that will show you how to do stuff. The gaming world has stolen hours of connection time for many of our teens. Not only that, some games like Grand Theft Auto 18+ include the rape and murder of women. Many other games are about killing and winning at all costs, which can feed into an unhealthy male ego that will then be hungry to use power in any way they can. We must remember that rape and sexual assault is about power not sex. Today’s teens are spending less time in face-to-face contact with significant adults and that means less time in real-life relationships with fewer conversations to guide them to make better decisions for themselves. One of the big areas that parents and extended family or ‘the boy tribe’ – this circle of significant caring adults – need to be educating our young people around is healthy boundaries. Sibling conflict, friendship dramas and individual challenges that our kids experience will all have issues around boundaries. These conversations need to challenge disrespectful behaviour and teach over and over again, the values of the family. This is so important because not all families hold the same values. The metaphor about ‘the line in the sand’ needs to be a frequent conversation… what is ok, what is not and why. When the family holds and models strong values around honesty, fairness, respect, compassion and equity, it gives kids the most fertile soil to grow up with a decent character. Yes they can still make poor choices, however the chances of them abusing others, or deliberately choosing to demean, hurt or crush another will be less. This is the way that parents and educators can challenge the unhealthy stereotypes that have existed within traditional patriarchy. I taught for many years in high schools and saw this pseudo-misogyny start around the age of 13 to 14 and now it seems to be happening even earlier. If it is not nipped in the bud around this age it can grow because a boy is hungry for credibility and status from the boys around him and he can make impulsively poor choices. Many boys have told me how uncomfortable witnessing this behaviour can feel and we need to give them permission to show that real courage comes from standing up rather than being silent when disrespectful behaviour happens. If a mate shares details about a conquest or wants to share nudes (often elicited illicitly), we need to teach and coach our boys how to stand up and say that is wrong and not okay. For many boys, intervention can be really difficult because they risk being excluded from the group or becoming a target themselves. We need to make it more of a norm to stand up and speak out and I think the light being shone on this issue right now is a great opportunity to do that. Consent education will not be enough to transform some of the social conditioning that teen boys have experienced and may hold as truth. However, it still needs to be happening from early childhood right through to the final years of schooling. A key message needs to be about possible consequences due to the criminality of rape, cyberbullying, possession of child pornography (ie in the case of asking for nudes from underage girls) and the possibility of being sent to jail or juvenile justice, which can ruin their opportunities in future life. There is a huge place for restorative justice, where a boy who has sexually assaulted someone goes through a process where he gets to understand the impact his actions have had. In other words, he needs to know how wrong his behaviour has been and that he now needs to make it right in some way. I argue that little boys need to learn about accountability because often their behaviour is impulsive and they are clueless as to what they did wrong, because their intention was not to cause harm. Pornography can distort this perception in boys because they can see this is “just what men do”. If only we could find video content of tender, respectful teen love making where both parties show joy and delight at sharing an intimate experience (Obviously over age of consent!). Gender conditioning needs to be deconstructed and thankfully many excellent programs are run in schools however many schools do miss out! Long-term programs that focus on rites of passage are particularly effective at shaping mindsets. All genders need to learn about how to clearly communicate their wants, needs and boundaries. I preferred to teach in co-ed high schools because I knew that there were many opportunities in classrooms to challenge gender stereotypes and to have both boys and girls learn the nuances of conversation and learn to work together. Genuine boy-girl friendships around 16 can be incredibly positive as they can help each other navigate the final years of school. You never ‘hook up’ with your girl mate and you can feel important watching out for her safety and she can help stop you acting inappropriately. Two of my sons had girl mates who helped them enormously to grow into decent man. What else needs to change? Our girls particularly are being sexualised earlier and earlier. We hear of five-year-old girls asking mummy if she is sexy and girls in early primary school skipping meals so that they can look skinny enough to please the boys. It is not just online that our girls get these messages. We must consciously challenge the harmful and disrespectful messages that are forced on our girls through pop culture, music, advertising, social media and pornography. Melinda Tankard-Reist has long been a champion for challenging these parts of our society. Have you seen some of the Honey Birdette shop windows in our large shopping centres? Some of these incredibly explicit advertising images that show women with their legs spread and their vulvas exposed in obvious porn-themed ads, are also on huge billboards. Sorry but this also needs to stop NOW. It is difficult for children to understand the nuance between sexual empowerment and sexual objectification – which dehumanises women and makes them toys to be played with. Clothing with sexually suggestive message for boys and girls needs to stop too. I have taken a quiet stand and when I see these kids’ T-Shirts,I discretely collect them from the rack and place them in a store bin. Tinder-culture conditioning Being able to find a date by swiping left or right on your phone has made dating a very different dynamic to how it was before smart phones. Admittedly many people have found their life partner on an online dating site. Sadly, for many men this space has become a little bit like a hunting ground and abuse has been allowed to run unchecked. There is already a serious concern around the impacts of loneliness and male suicide, and so this trend is one that is concerning. I know some women over 40 who frequent these sites looking for a genuine friendship and companionship who tell me how abhorrent much of the behaviour from many men has become over time. They will send a dick pic without consent, almost immediately thinking that will improve the chances of meeting! If only they knew how many of those pictures are shared in circles of women with much laughter! Many women have told me that if a man buys them dinner there is an expectation that they owe him sex. Sadly, these are grown men not immature teen boys. Sexting and nudes If we did not have smart phones in the hands of our children and teens, they would not be sexting and sending nudes. Full stop. Research from the e-safety Commissioner indicates 1 in 3 14-17-year-olds in Australia “had some experience of sending, sharing or being asked to share nudes”. Even though this may be considered quite normal among teens, it is still illegal. Sending unwanted dick pics and harassing girls for naked images needs to stop. Even if there is consent, it is still illegal. Harassing and pressuring girls in any situation is a form of coercive control. We must call this out and stop it because this is often a dark underbelly in domestic violence. So many schools tell me of how much valuable time they lose during school hours managing the fallout of sexting or the unwanted sharing of nudes. This is not the job of schools and much of it happens at night. Please delay giving your kids smart phones for as long as possible and definitely have tight boundaries around access to phones and digital devices at night. Really, don’t be complacent. Kirra Pendergast from Safe On Social reports that she is hearing more and more from parents of kids in Grade 5 and 6 about flirting via devices that is bordering on sexting. We are seeing more and more instances of revenge porn (distributing nude images of people without their consent) and ‘sextortion’ (blackmailing someone by threatening to send images) and often young people are involved – this can get very serious. Please educate yourself about having conversations with your kids about this and what to do when things go wrong. Parties and teens Most teens enjoy spending time with their friends, and hanging out socially has always been a part of the adolescent journey. Statistically, today’s teens are drinking less alcohol than previous generations, however in our sexualised world parties have become more problematic despite the shift in consumption. Risk-taking behaviour is quite normal with adolescents as they are wired to stretch themselves without due caution as they have an underdeveloped brain. Decisions made while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs that alter the mind, will be different than ones made while sober. This needs to be a key part of the education around consent and given the nature of the current landscape, every teen party needs to have adult supervision to ensure that everyone can stay safe. Making it as difficult as possible to consume large quantities of alcohol is also a sensible thing for the adult supervisors to ensure. Given that one of the most risky times around parties is getting home, care must be taken to ensure teens get home safely. Parties are not bad however they must have mature, responsible sober adults in attendance at all times. And if your teens are attending parties, please do all you can to make sure they have a plan for getting home and that they know that NO MATTER WHAT they can call you for help and you will have their back. The legal system must change Sadly, so few sexual assault cases end in convictions and this needs to stop. Further, the victim blaming rhetoric must stop. The legal process needs to focus on the perpetrator and the wrong they have done not on what a woman was wearing or why she was walking alone at night or whether she was drinking! Victim blaming is a part of unhealthy patriarchy and we must all educate ourselves about it and name it when we see it. CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/why-we-need-much-more-than-consent-training-in-our-schools-to-stop-sexual-assault/ If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call the 1800 Respect national helpline on 1800 737 732 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. With thanks to Maggie DEnt for permission to publish www.maggiedent.com

TRIGGER WARNING – EXPLICIT CONTENT & DRUG TALK Text speak has certainly made it interesting for teachers and parents to try and communicate with teens and some would even say harder for parents to keep on top of what’s actually happening in their daily lives. We thought it might be helpful to share some of the most common 2021 teen slang definitions that we are seeing used today. Some you may know, some you definitely won’t but all are definitely good to know. 182 – I hate you 420 – marijuana 53X – Sex 9 and CD9 (Code 9) – parents are nearby 99 – parents are gone AF – As f**k ASB – as balls eg. I’m high ASB ASL – Age/sex/location ASLP – age/sex/location/photo Bae – significant other or crush Basic – someone who is viewed as boring or a conforming person Bet – A response indicating agreement eg. “Wanna go to the movies?” “Bet” Bih – short for Bitch Body count – number of people someone has slept with BRB – Be right back Cappin – lying Chill – relaxed or laid back Cheugy – used to describe someone or something that is basic, out of date, or trying too hard Cringe – causing feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness CYA – cover your ass or see ya Ded – Used when something is really funny or embarrassing eg. “OMG that has me ded” Dongle – slang for ‘penis’ DOC – drug of choice Dope – something cool or awesome DTF – Down to f**k F2F – Face to face aka Facetime Facts – acknowledging the truth of something said FBOI – F**k boy; a guy just looking for sex FINSTA – Fake Instagram account FOMO – fear of missing out FWB – friends with benefits Gas – Can refer to marijuana or used to describe something that’s cool or used as a way to hype someone up. Ghosted – Ending a relationship by completely disappearing with no further communication. GTG – got to go IRL – in real life ISO – in search of IWSN – I want sex now JK – just kidding Juul – e-cigarette or vape KMS – Kill myself KYS – Kill yourself LMP – can mean either ‘like my pic’ or ‘lick my p***y’ Low key – either somewhat interested or keeping something secret MOS – mum over shoulder Netflix and chill – getting together and hooking up OF – Only Fans referring to the site OFC – short for ‘of course’ PIR – Parents in room Plug – term to refer to a drug dealer or someone who can get drugs PMOYS – put me on your Snapchat RUH – are you horny? Salty – cranky or angry about something Same – ‘I can relate’ Shading – when teens gossip about someone without naming the other person; also referred to as ‘throwing shade’ when talking about someone behind their back Ship – short for relationship and used when there is a desire to see two people dating. Eg. “I ship them” SH – sh** happens Skeet – ejaculate Smash – to have casual sex Snapstreak – when friends send snaps every day creating a streak Spam – fake social media account Squad – friendship group Sugarpic – suggestive or erotic photo TDTM – talk dirty to me Tea/T – gossip or interesting news Thicc – attractive or curvy body Tina – Crystal Meth (ICE) Thirsty – desperate for attention mostly used to describe looking for sexual attention Thot – that ho over there and is often used instead of ‘slut’ Turnt – excited and having a good time, often with the help of drugs or alcohol WUF – Where you from? WTTP – want to trade pictures? WYA – where you at? YAAS – an enthusiastic yes YEET – a very strong word for yes or to throw something This is just a small selection of and ever growing list. Join our mailing list to keep up to date with how to manage risk on social media. www.safeonsocial.com